The relentless blinking of the cursor bullies me – forcing me to corral my thoughts into a limited space.
Armed with determination, I fight back, allowing one thought to escape into a unique idea, and then I grant another thought its freedom, followed by several others that rush off in all different directions, making it impossible to round them up into one manageable topic. Leaving me exhausted with nothing accomplished.
For someone who admires the written word, I am my own worst enemy when it comes to writing. All too often, once I have identified a topic to write about, words begin to tumble around in my thoughts, contorting into various shapes and sizes. This kaleidoscope of shapes and rhythms produce a hypnotic effect paralyzing me. Eventually, with determination, I am able to snap out of it and produce something; although I never seem quite satisfied.
I am reminded of a conversation between Alice and Humpty Dumpty from Lewis Carroll’s, “Alice Through the Looking Glass” about the power of words…
`When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, `it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’
`The question is,’ said Alice, `whether you can make words mean so many different things.’
`The question is,’ said Humpty Dumpty, `which is to be master – – that’s all.’
I guess my battle with words suggests that I am trying to be a master of all words. I need to put down my sword and see if it produces a better outcome, one less exhausting.